Contrary to popular belief, there are transsexuals who are quite
normal and successful in all walks of life.
Gender is such a core aspect of being human and for some persons,
their gender is in such turmoil that they have difficulty knowing who they are. For instance,
knowing their sexual orientation or how they fit in society as a male or
female is almost impossible for them because they do not fit the
stereotypes. Those transgender people cover up their gender conundrum by
being hyper-masculine or hyper-feminine. For instance, a boy growing up
imagining himself to be a girl may cover this gender difference by
fighting and acting as tough as he can. Until the gender turmoil has
some resolution, it is very difficult for many transgender individuals
to know much of anything for certain about themselves.
Many find themselves being shamed again and again because they
express themselves in ways that are different from the stereotype. Many
experience shame again and again for the many thoughts and feelings they
have about themselves because they are different from the expected norm.
They are misunderstood, ridiculed and rejected, often by the people they
should be able to trust the most in their lives; family members,
teachers, ministers, mental health and medical professionals are among
them. The experience of being shamed multiple times creates toxic
shame, or a belief by the individual that at their core, they are
worthless. We believe that shame at the core of a transgender
individual can be the source for depression, anxiety, addictions,
isolation, antisocial behavior, multiple personalities, and/or
suicidality.
We have worked with transgender clients who have previously been
in therapy with mental health professionals who have ignored or
dismissed their gender issues, focusing exclusively on their depression,
anxiety, etc., thus invalidating the person's core identity and core
issues. In our work with transgender individuals, we have often seen
amelioration of severe mental health conditions as the individual
discovers that there are persons in authority who can accept them as
they are and help them to resolve their gender conundrum.
Transgender is an umbrella term for anyone whose gender expression
and experience is different enough from the accepted norm that they are
led to behaviors which would likely be seen as unacceptable by a male-
or a female-born person in the general population. Transsexual
individuals are those whose gender difference leads them to want to make
significant changes to their physical appearance and the hormonal makeup
of their body. An intersexed individual is one whose physical and
genetic makeup contains some combination of male and female
characteeristics, i.e., a baby born with a micro-penis and very small
scrotum plus an opening that appears to be a micro-vagina. This
individual will probably be raised as a boy, but may gradually know
herself to feel more female than male. As an adult she may learn that
she has an ovary and a uterus and may begin seeking help to make herself
right by persuing therapy. These definitions are helpful, but not
complete enough since many gender variant persons may fit different
definitions at different times in their lives.
